Is This Thing On?
This is a test post. Trying to blog from work, where I’m workin’ for The Man. And eating apple cake made from the tears of angels.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Don’t Stop Believin’
So clearly I’m just easing back into this here regular blogging thing like an old man gettting into a bathtub. In lieu of an actual well thought-out post, I’m just including a link to my new totes fave blog by Agent Lover.
Dr. Ding loves Agent Lover’s unabashed love of all things 1990s- and Lifetime: TV For Women-related. And she makes tiny hats, kinda like the ones worn by Damon Wayans when he and David Alan Grier in “Men On Film” on Living Color. Oh yes. Around the world and backsnap!
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Making The Most Out Of Your Recession
Dr. Ding spent like ten thousand years in Gradual School, so I know all kinds of helpful shit about how to survive on nothing but a flat of Ramen noodles and a single pack of generic cigarettes for a week. About sending the wrong check “by mistake” to a creditor, thereby buying yourself some extra time on what would have otherwise been a past-due bill. About making that student loan stretch just far enough to pay for an ill-fated camping trip the Badlands of South Dakota where you listened to “Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode like seven thousand times with your very patient but very adenoidal best friend whose stentorian snoring caused you to develop a heavy-duty Benadryl addiction.
Where was I going with this verysexy post?
Tip #1: Buy generic Benadryl. It’s a lot cheaper.
Tip #2: If a donkey sticks its head inside your car window, it’s best not to drive off in a panic. What happens? Giant goddamn donkey-panic boogers, that’s what. Costly to remove.
Tip #3: Now is a good time to eat rice, beans, and eggs. And to fart with wild abandon.
Tip #4: Streaming Netflix, people. Look into it.
Tip #5: I’m back, bitchez.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
World Domination
Oh hai dere.
Yeah, I know. I’m back.
Stay tuned to this channel for fart jokes.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
My Favorite Video EVAR
Dr. Ding is especially fond of all the twirling and spinning going on here. Enjoy.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Stuff That Sucks
So in the aftermath of the truly staggeringly awful earthquake in Haiti*, Dr. Ding would like to share with you a list of things that also suck wrinkly donkey balls at 500+ psi. Why? Because I haven’t had coffee or Tab The All-Occasion Beverage in almost 2 weeks, nor red meat, alcohol, butter, cheese, sugar, salt, citrus, or wheat.
I’m still crabby as hell, still mud-brained, still attempting to summon phantasmogorical British monkey butlers to cart my tired ass away from the horrid clouds of flatus that seem to follow me wherever I go. For awhile last week there I was being chased by a giant all-knowing eyeball, but that seems to have slacked off a litle.
I’m definitely having First World problems. Deal.
1. Pat Roberston. What a tool. Last I checked, Jesus wasn’t into blaming the victim.
2. The fact that I can’t think of a more descriptive term than “tool” with which to label Pat Robertson.
3. Shitty grammar. The world is definitely getting dumb and dumberer.
4. Rue McClanahan having a stroke. Be strong, Rue! The world needs more sexy, sassy 75 year-olds.
5. I’m out of ideas already. Where was I going with this post again?
I think we can all agree: that’s enough.
* Information on how to help:
Yele Haiti: http://www.yele.org/
Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org/
Doctors Without Borders: http://doctorswithoutborders.org/
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |