So here I lounge, with a busted up Achilles tendon, bilateral plantar fasciitis and a resurgent case of bursitis in my hip. What this means is that by law I must now watch 17 episodes of the following television programs, based on my Suddenly Acquired Right To Bitch Nonstop About My Goddamn Lumbago*. I can also eat unlimited amounts of Werthers Originals, wear a sweater when it’s like 96F outside, and throw some cats atcho haid.
Murder, She Wrote
The Golden Girls
Mystery! on PBS
The Love Boat/Fantasy Island double header (counts as one show, I took a poll)
Nah, seriously you guys. I have writer’s block. Write me some convoluted letters so I can tell you what to do. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
*I don’t have this. Yet.