Making The Most Out Of Your Recession
Dr. Ding spent like ten thousand years in Gradual School, so I know all kinds of helpful shit about how to survive on nothing but a flat of Ramen noodles and a single pack of generic cigarettes for a week. About sending the wrong check “by mistake” to a creditor, thereby buying yourself some extra time on what would have otherwise been a past-due bill. About making that student loan stretch just far enough to pay for an ill-fated camping trip the Badlands of South Dakota where you listened to “Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode like seven thousand times with your very patient but very adenoidal best friend whose stentorian snoring caused you to develop a heavy-duty Benadryl addiction.
Where was I going with this verysexy post?
Tip #1: Buy generic Benadryl. It’s a lot cheaper.
Tip #2: If a donkey sticks its head inside your car window, it’s best not to drive off in a panic. What happens? Giant goddamn donkey-panic boogers, that’s what. Costly to remove.
Tip #3: Now is a good time to eat rice, beans, and eggs. And to fart with wild abandon.
Tip #4: Streaming Netflix, people. Look into it.
Tip #5: I’m back, bitchez.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Damn Right
Evidently, I am powerfully awesome what with my Southwest Airlines discounts and all.
Thanks to Epiphenita
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Somebody Get Me This Already
Oh dear Lords of Kobol.
As y’all know, Dr. Ding loves her some steampunk. And computery shit. And now, I can have both, in the form of this here Victorian All-In-One PC, courtesy of of steampunkworkshop.com.
Ok, you DIY muthafuckas, now get to work with your own personal army of evil, mechanically-inclined henchpersons and do my bidding.
Image credit with step-by-step instructions and everything
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Now That’s Good Eatin’
Dr. Ding has been nearly overcome by her urge to visit her brother, Boopy, in Iowa and remain there indefinitely. Why? Simple. Every time I visit Midwest Neurotica I am transported back to an earlier, simpler time in my life when my biggest worry was whether or not my layered socks matched my “Flashdance” sweatshirt, or maybe to a slightly later time when the major concern was if my homemade pegged jeans and jazz shoes were suitably New Wave.
Y’all: make me a dish of this delightful confection created by Starxlr8 and you shall reign in my heart forever, kinda like GirlJesus™ but without the holy silver go-go boots. Unless of course you do happen to actually own a pair.
Buffalo Chicken Enchiladas
Serves 41/2 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup blue cheese dressing
1 large chicken breast
1 T butter
3 T Frank’s Red Hot sauce
3 corn tortillas
1 cup shredded mexican cheese
2 T chopped scallionsPreheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine soup and dressing, set aside. Cut up chicken breast into small pieces and saute until golden. Add butter and hot sauce to coat. Meanwhile, crisp corn tortillas in a skillet or on a griddle. Spread some of the sauce mixture in the bottom of a round casserole dish. Then layer tortilla, sauce, chicken and cheese. Repeat once and top with final tortilla, cheese and scallions. Bake for 15 minutes.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Pig Candy
Attention all vegetarians, vegans and health food enthusiasts:
Now would be an excellent time to stop reading.
This post is for all the baconophiles out there. You know who you are.
Inspired by the truly awesome bacony stylings of epiphenita, I bring you Pig Candy, which is actually a Sweet Potato Queens recipe. More on their glittery asses later.
Pig Candy
Take one package of thick-cut bacon, line glass 9×13″ pan with same. Cover liberally with brown sugar. You can add a couple dashes of cayenne. Bake at 350 for about 30-40 minutes total. I like to turn mine over about 15 minutes in, add sugar, and cook for another 15-20 total minutes for that optimal sweet-salty balance.
Candy will harden as it cools, which it won’t because you will have eaten it already. It’s that good.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Home Cookin’ With The Dingster
So I’m thinking if I post the meatiest, most non-stomach-flu-friendly recipe I own, by the power of Paradoxical Intervention, somehow magically my tummy symptoms will completely disappear. I’ll let you know if it works.
Dr. Ding’s Possibly Magic Eye-Talian Beef Recipe
Ingredients
1 clove fresh garlic, chopped fine
3 Tbs olive oil, extra virgin
3 to 4-lb hunk of cheap beef, suitable for stewing
2 large jars of Pepperoncini peppers,any variety*
2 or 3 beef bouillon cubes
6 c. water
Salt and pepper to taste
(Note: You can throw in a little oregano and basil in the last hour of crocking. Some folks like to use a bottle of Italian dressing, but I find this too greasy. Tasty, but greasy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Directions
Heat the garlic in the olive oil at fairly high heat. Sear the beef only just long enough to lock in the juices. Dump into crockpot, and pour remaining ingredients overtop. Cook on the low setting around 7-8 hours for the most tender result, stirring or basting occasionally.
This tastes super eaten by itself, or you can pile a big juicy mess of it atop crusty white bread and make a sammich. Because Pepperoncinis are pickled, this stuff will keep for a week easily.
*I prefer to mix a jar of the hot ones with a jar of sweet, but you really can’t go wrong here.
Bon Apetit, ya’ll.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |