Schwitzy Times
Today, as it turns out, Dr. Ding is not starting her new job.
Today, as it turns out, Dr. Ding is sweating balls instead.
Last night the air-conditioning conked out. Luckily the fans work and the icemaker works, so I’m coping. Sorta. Decided to get a blog post in before everything gets all gummy and sticky and I totally lose my shit and run out into the street nekkid, howling and Jerry Springer-like, arms all a-flail.
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this directly, but I am decidedly NOT a hot weather person. And sadly, it’s not even technically “hot” here in H-town yet. We’re about 30 minutes away from Total Ding Hull Integrity Failure here people. The repair dude just called and said he’d be here “soon” whatever the fuck that means.
Help me, GirlJesus™! Save me Tom Cruise! Use your witchcraft to get this fire offa me!
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Oh JAYsus! The minute shit like that happens to me I run for the nearest friend’s house. Fuck that noise, this is Houston. If we don’t have central air, we’re DONE.
You’re welcome to meet me and AbbyNormal out at the Cheesecake Factory in the Galleria for lunch if you want
Thanks girlie!
I will keep ya posted. It’s looking a bit grim this morning so far.
me needs a/c…i feel your pain and have myself decided that all things outside must be done either before 10am or after 5 pm from now through September!
J
JeAnne:
Right you are, my N.O.-dwelling friend! I’m seriously considering becoming fully nocturnal ASAP.
Yes. What they said. Stay cool chica!! Put your undergarments in the freezer for a few minutes – that oughtta help a little too!
Jamie:
That is freaking brilliant.
Thank you SO MUCH for this genius-level idea. I just put ice cubes in Pooperella’s dish, so now I’m off to freeze my hoo-hoo coverings! Wish me luck.
‘Glitta’, dahlin. More ‘glitta’. It makes the sweat glow all sexy-like.
cuzL:
I have learned so far 2 things today:
1. the cooling power of frozen underpants is not to be underestimated
2. glitta makes the sweat look gooood
This, despite the heat/humidity, has been a very enlightening day.
holy sauna shit, dingwoman, are you telling me beyonce left you in a pool of your own elixir this morning? apox on him. g-jesus, the two of you will spontaneously combust without a/c. [i'm getting my camera out] seriously, our air conditioners are not arctic-blast-quality but you can both can hover inches away from them over here. we are open for cooling.
Thanks!!!! Luckily the air conditioning man aka Little Repair Guy arrived in a somewhat timely manner.
I know–the elixirs here this morning at Casa de la Ding were pretty repugnant. I am lucky to have survived. I’ll say no more.
I don’t want to one up you but I haven’t been posting/blogging/emailing because both of my AC units at work (where I spend most of my waking hours) need replacing. However, I grew up in Buffalo NY and I prefer spending the day in a sealed concrete box with 50 feet of unopenable, floor to ceiling windows in the direct sunlight in summer in Houston to winter in Buffalo. Financing is on the way so I won’t have to do either, thank goodness.
Trainer:
Never fear, I know I’m a total weenie when it comes to heat/humidity and I accept your weather-related asswhupping.
A sealed concrete box, eh? You = hardcore. Hope it gets fixed soon, though.