The Holy Pompadour of Our Ford Jeebus
These Evangelical Hairdos appeared to Dr. Ding once on a low-carb tortilla, wholly-formed as if sprung from the head of Zeus hisself, but bleary and difficult to interpret. Here, however, their beauty is quite exquisite, if tonsorially outdated and therefore a source of great agita to many a modern-day hairdresser.
Let us pray, all Aldous Huxley-style up in it, in honor of the evangelical hairstyles of yore, shall we?
Dear Holy Ford,
O merciful Jeebus, grant me the strength to style my hair, my crowning and shiny shiny glory, with a such a great quantity of Brylcreem and holy Vitalis that your radiant face may be reflected therein, so as to cause the heathens to bow down in supplication of your wond’rous visage, which undoubtedly looks a lot like Moses, only less poufy.
Render unto me O Ford Jeebus those things that are mine, especially a high-sheen Banlon suit, multitudes of ill-informed prejudices disguised as Your Truth, shaking gobbety jowls, and a Lincoln Town Car, mint condition, or perhaps the lowly Ford Taurus if you deem it so. For Thine is the duck’s ass, the pseudo-intellectual comb-over, the femullet, and the baby saver forever. Amen.
Stroking The Inner Nerdette
Dr. Ding, it must be told, was an avid comic book reader in her youth. Hence, this video. Plus: this world needs more fucking superheroes, God(dess) damn it.
This Just In: Dr. Ding Bites Breakdance Move From epiphenita
Click here to gleefully deconstruct the rubric of vagina-as-clown car.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Edumacation
Dearest snarkficionados.
Dr. Ding thinks you should check out the following blogs and sites, for the good of the order, and for the care of souls.
Local Blogs:
The Bloggess Dig those kee-ray-zay curlers. And she’ll steal the corset off a dead Gold Rush whore, stat. Do not underestimate her powers.
epiphenita Makes Dr. Ding look like a total fucking pantywaist. Brutally honest, inventively funny, and she has the best vocabulary this side of the Pecos. I totally stole MarriedToTheSea comics from her.
chookooloonks Gorgeous photos. And her adorable daughter almost makes me want to become a parent. Almost.
Slices From the PearLady Her SFW blog wins awards. I have technical envy as well as glittery pear logo envy.
Exquisitely Bored in Nacogdoches Okay, so it’s Nac, but it’s so righteously ring-a-ding-ding I don’t care.
Dr. Miggy Smart, eclectic science/music enlightenment purveyor. She plays Cesaria Evora on her radio show, which makes her aces in my book.
Sites:
The Institute of Official Cheer This site makes me laugh and cringe simultaneously. It’s pure internet crack.
Skwigg’s World Gen-X’s fitness guru and I shouldn’t love the obssessive pictures of her abs, guns, and eats. But yet I do.
HCWD Come for the incisive social commentary, stay for the deconstruction of the post-millenial American male waxing-tanning dialectic as it obtains in Long Island and New Jersey proper.
Dandyism.net My latest find. Exceedingly delightful.
LUSH No, it’s not what you think. It’s about conditioner that smells exactly like pumpkin pie.
Pup Scouts Top Dinger Trainer’s site for all things doggish. I need to get Pooperella over there, stat. Oh and possibly myself since it’s my behavior that’s the problem. But not the actual pooing. That’s all her. Yes.
indiebride and Offbeat Bride The only two wedding sites that make any sense whatsoever.
Blogs:
Brass Goggles The lighter side of steampunk. For Victorian nerddes.
LOTD By turns sophomoric and utterly brilliant.
midwest neurotica When I yearn for my midwestern roots, I come here. The recipes alone are killer bee.
Technoccult High weirdness indeed. Come here to get your conspiracy theory freak on.
Slaying the Scale Monster JeAnne is one of my heroes. Not just because she lost the weight, but because she gained a rich, interesting life and hard-won self-acceptance. Love her. Love her!
There are lots more, these are just the ones I’ve been ritualistically, compulsively checking over and over peeking at lately.
Looky Looky
Dr. Ding can now be found here on the Chron.com. I do a mixture of cross-posting and original stuff, so the content is basically Ding Lite: 50% less filling, but still tastes great.
Chron-style AskDrDing is reasonably suitable for work and/or teenage audiences, as there is a marked lack of cursing, apoplectic profanity-spewing, pictures of assless leather chaps, and general oath-taking, which has forced me to be clever. Very clever indeed. Fiendishly clever, one might say.
Dear Dr. Ding
Dear Dr. Ding:
I see your write about Buddhism on this site sometimes and I would like to know more about what type of Buddhism I should practice to gain some kind of inner clarity and peace. I have done research on the topic of eastern spiritual practices and Buddhism in general appeals to me the most — I don’t know where to start though.
Can you offer me some suggestions? I would like to start some kind of meditating soon.
Thanks Dr. Ding. I appreciate it.
Leprechaun Lady
Dear Leprechaun Lady:
First off, congratulations for taking time out of your probably very busy life to embark on a legitimate, informed spiritual journey, as opposed to the illegitimate kind where you put leaves in your hair and smoke hydroponic pot while dreamily announcing to everyone your new name is “RavensChylde” and that you’re going to start channeling Gaia’s menstrual wisdom for $125 a pop despite the fact that Mother Earth doesn’t have an actual vagina.
But I digress. Gleefully.
In regards to your question, Zen Buddhism has the reputation for being the most kind of bare-bones, straightforward approach to enlightenment. However, even within the context of that tradition, there’s a lot to learn about different lineages and styles.
If you’re a real leprechaun, or at least if you identify with the characteristics of fae folk, (more…)