Dr. Ding Revealed! Sorta.
Thanks to the bloggy ministrations of The Beyonce, Dr. Ding is now visible in the upper right corner of this here blog. No more Nordic mannequin lady. That’s really me, with my customary tiara and I’m Ready For My Closeup Now, Mister DeMille, perfectly sane series of facial expressions.
It wasn’t easy getting my eyeballs to focus in slightly different directions, but I think I pulled it off.
Enjoy the leopard print, homies!
Decision 2008: Dear Dr. Ding
All the political games are getting me down. It is so difficult to muck
through all of the mud being slung that I have no idea what the real issues
are anymore. Please give me your educated opinion on who deserves the
Presidential Office this November.
So Over It
Dear So Over It:
Dr. Ding feels your pain. Over the course of the last few decades it seems that election run-ups are all about these peculiarly ill-defined, soft, candidate-centered and pseudo-social-sciencey variables such as perceived affability, hairstyle, overdeveloped yodeling ability (think: “Yeeeaaahh!”) blah blah blah.
And, as you wisely point out, the real political issues seem to fade into the background as the media jockeying devolves into primitive jousting matches, followed by a melee, followed by the ingestion of several large turkey legs and the purchase of a plastic replica sword for the nephew.
No, wait, that’s a Ren Fest.
Ok, I’m digressing. Wildly. And don’ think for a minute that that’s not the way Dr. Ding likes it.
Here’s Dr. Ding’s bottom line: vote for a Democrat. Any Democrat. Whether it’s Hil or Bar, at least their Full Scale IQ Estimates are a few standard deviations over 91, which is a damn sight higher than Dubyah’s, and probably higher than the other Republican candidates, except maybe McCain.
But whatever you decide, make sure to vote. And that goes for the rest of you out there in Bloggyville, people! Now you’ve got no excuses!
To conclude, So Over It, here’s a suggestion: pour yourself an ice-cold Diet Pepsi, kick back, and watch old reruns of Magnum. P.I. Then, go out to dinner with a friend or two and talk about anything other than politics. Take a break. Consider putting yourself on a Media Diet a la Ding, even if just for a little while.
If this last proves ineffective, write me back, as Dr. Ding will have doubtless pulled some priceless gem of wisdom out her her padonkadonk by then.
Image: Married To The Sea
Dear Dr. Ding
I am clicking every time I log in to see what Google thinks fits best with
your content. I was shocked and concerned today when one of the ads was a
chat with singles ads. How did they come up wiht that one. I had to check
to see what it actually was. How to link to single females? Pictures of 20
something females that you can click on to chat with? How does that match
your content? Just thought you might like to know.
Slightly Confused
Dear Slightly:
Darling. This is outrageously predictable, I’m afraid. Google AdSense simply isn’t known for effectively wielding subtle etymological abilities when it comes to matching their ads with actual site content. I shall dispatch Jeebes at once to deal with them forthwith. Possibly also Dr. Ding needs to use less tags containing the words “brown pu” and “ass.” Yes. I’m thinking this may be a sign from the holy shiny silver go-go boots of GirlJesus™ that I need to cut down on the swears.
On second thought, nah.
Ass hell fuck damn shit brown pu!
Ah, that’s better.
All I Wanna Do Is…
This song, “Paper Planes” has generated a lot of controversy, probably because it’s easy to miss M.I.A.’s message thanks to the incredibly catchy hook, not to mention her rocking of that sweet, old-school ripstop nylon jacket that your Mimi wore to the Shalom Retirement Village’s “Bingo Madness Party” circa 1989 . Which is totally different from Hipster Bingo.
The “Paper Planes” video works on at least a couple of different levels of sociopolitical critique and also invites the viewer to examine the more performative aspects of the big-ass bamboo earrings Dr. Ding coveted back in the summer of 1990. Which is reason alone to like it.
We’re Through The Looking Glass Here, People
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Mikhail Baryshnikov.
Donna Reed
Troy Donahue.
Skitch Henderson.
Jerome Kern.
Bridget Fonda.
Lewis Carroll.
Dr. Ding.
All born on January 27th.
Dr. Ding Is 39 Y’all
Happy Birthday! Tomorrow!
To me.
Can I be counted as a Cougar yet? The Beyonce is, for the next 3 weeks, 4 years younger than I.
I rock.